


Kallian Tabris (Origins Canon)

by Emrys_Ace



Series: Dragon Age oneshots [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25530694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emrys_Ace/pseuds/Emrys_Ace
Summary: A series of oneshots for my canon Warden, Kallian Tabris.
Relationships: Alistair/Female Tabris (Dragon Age)
Series: Dragon Age oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1849870
Kudos: 1





	1. Kallian Tabris introduction

Origin: City Elf  
Class: Rogue (Ranger, Duelist and Shadow specialisations)  
Romanced: Alistair  
Choices made:  
Orzammar - Anvil destroyed, Bhelen made king  
Circle - Circle saved  
Brecilian Forest - helped Dalish and werewolves  
Redcliffe - saved Redcliffe and Connor  
Urn of Sacred Ashes - did not defile the Urn  
Landsmeet - executed Loghain, made Alistair and Anora joint rulers, Warden remained Alistair’s mistress  
Final battle - used Morrigan’s Dark Ritual, so both Wardens survived  
Awakening - saved Vigil’s Keep and Amaranthine, spared the Architect, all companions survived

Having grown up in Denerim’s alienage, Kallian never had an easy life. Near-constant harassment and abuse by humans taught her to harden herself and always be on the defensive. Her mother, Adaia, taught her all she knew about fighting, until she was one day murdered by humans. After this, Kallian swore to never let another human get away with abusing elves.  
Her reluctant wedding to Nelaros was crashed by Vaughan and his thugs, and her and the other women present were kidnapped. She protested and fought back as much as she could, and when her cousin Soris and betrothed Nelaros arrived to help, she slaughtered every one of Vaughan’s thugs in revenge. She found Vaughan abusing her cousin Shianni, and avenged her by killing him. She was unable to save Nelaros, however, who was killed by guards, and the guilt of this failure was carried with her everywhere after she left Denerim.  
In order to avoid punishment at the hands of Denerim’s arl, Kallian was recruited by the Warden-Commander Duncan, and travelled with him to Ostagar to fight with the king’s army against the darkspawn. There, she met the Grey Warden Alistair, and despite her dislike and distrust of humans, found herself quickly charmed by his awkwardness and easy-going nature.

The Teyrn Loghain defied his orders and betrayed his king when he abandoned the armies at Ostagar, which quickly fell to the darkspawn. Alistair and Kallian were the only Grey Wardens to survive, after they were aided by Flemeth, Witch of the Wilds.  
From then, they met the rest of their companions as they went about collecting on the ancient Grey Warden treaties for aid battling the Blight.

Arl Eamon Guerrin called a Landsmeet to determine the true ruler of Ferelden. After many arguments and fights, the traitor Loghain was executed by Kallian. It was decided that Alistair and Anora would marry and rule Ferelden together; Kallian would remain as Alistair’s mistress.

In an epic final showdown in Denerim, Kallian struck the Archdemon a killing blow. Thanks to Morrigan’s Dark Ritual, both Kallian and Alistair survived the final battle. In the celebrations following the battle, Alistair and Anora were married and crowned joint rulers of Ferelden.

Kallian was made the new Warden-Commander of Ferelden, and started the task of replenishing the Grey Warden ranks in Ferelden. Given the arling of Amaranthine (previously belonging to Denerim’s last arl, Rendon Howe), and Vigil’s Keep as a seat, she recruited a range of new companions into the fold. During her time as arlessa, Kallian encountered the Architect, one of the original ancient darkspawn. After learning of his experiments into finding a way to end the Blight, she spared his life and allowed him to continue his work.  
When Amaranthine faced new darkspawn threats, Kallian saved the city, leaving a heavily fortified Vigil’s Keep to defend itself.

Years later, Kallian disappeared, having embarked on a search to find a cure for the Calling.


	2. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kallian tells Alistair about what happened at her wedding and finally gets closure for her guilt over Nelaros; a conversation prompted by the return to the alienage during the Landsmeet in which Shianni mentions the wedding.
> 
> (I should add that I was inspired to write this scene by the artist @hanatsuki89 on Instagram's art of their Tabris Warden)

_“Wedding? You’re married?” I’d never seen such a look of shock on Alistair’s face.  
“I was betrothed. It didn’t end well.” The memory of that disastrous day was so clear in my mind, and being back here in the alienage... it felt like it was only yesterday.  
“Still, you never told me you were betrothed. What happened?”  
“He died.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“It was an arranged marriage. I didn’t know him very well.” _

\---

After the relief of saving my father and reuniting with the rest of my family in the alienage, the apprehension of the imminent Landsmeet returns. When we return to Arl Eamon’s estate, he is busy discussing with advisors how we should deal with Loghain and his sympathisers, so Alistair and I return to our room.  
When the door is closed behind us, and it’s just the two of us, out of sight of prying eyes, I sink onto the bed, letting my shoulders droop. It’s been months, and with all the work we’ve had to do running around trying to collect on the Grey Warden treaties, I’ve barely allowed myself to think about the day that changed everything. I wonder, where would I be now, had Vaughan not crashed my wedding and killed my fiancé? Most likely living quietly (or as quietly as an elf can in Denerim) with a husband, no part to play in the Blight. Would someone else have taken my place as Duncan’s new recruit, been the one to survive Ostagar with Alistair?  
I look over at the man I have come to love more deeply than I thought possible, as he sits beside me on the bed. He wears a look of concern, mixed with that love in his eyes that he always has when he looks at me. It’s the one thing that’s reminded me to keep fighting all this times, even in our darkest hours.

“Are you okay, love?” Alistair lays a hand over mine, and my fingers instinctively curl around his.

“I think so.” I meet his eyes, allowing myself to show him what I’m feeling. I had to teach myself to open up more to my human friends, after the traumas I have faced. “Being back here...it’s the first time I’ve returned to the alienage since I left it, those months ago. Seeing Shianni again, it brought back memories. I’m sorry for not telling you about the wedding. After all that happened...I didn’t want to let myself forget, but I also saw it as a burden I had to carry alone.”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Alistair squeezes my hand in comfort, and I resist the urge to lean into him.

“No, I think it will be good to talk about it. I’ve carried this with me for so long, maybe it’s time to take this weight off my shoulders, find some closure if I can. If I was to share it with any one person, it would be you. You’ve come to be such an important source of trust and comfort in these dark times. I love you more than anything, and I want to share this with you.” Squeezing his hand back to remind myself of the unwavering support he has given me, I take a deep breath. “Do you remember when we were at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, when we met the Guardian? He asked us questions.”

“I remember. He asked if thought I should’ve died at Ostagar instead of Duncan and Cailan.” Sorrow crosses his expression.

“Yes. And he asked me if I thought I’d failed Shianni. I said yes. And then we encountered a shade of her in the next room.”

“I remember that. Why do you believe you failed her?”

“Because I did. All the training my mother gave me, and I couldn’t protect Shianni when she needed me most.  
My father arranged a marriage for me, with an elf from Highever. His name was Nelaros. I protested the marriage so many times. I never wanted to get married, especially to someone I didn’t know or love. I never wanted to have a family, bring up children in the alienage. They would have only been in for a life of constant abuse by humans, and I didn’t want to subject anyone to that. But I eventually agreed to it, because it was what my father wanted, and there’s nothing I would not do for him.  
The day of the wedding, the previous arl’s son, Vaughan, and his thugs were harassing Shianni in the alienage. And Shianni, being the passionate and fiery-tempered person she is, wouldn’t stand for it, and fought back. She knocked him out with a wine bottle.” If it weren’t for all the trouble that had come after, I would laugh at the memory. “Vaughan obviously wasn’t very happy about being attacked by an elf, so decided he would exact revenge by crashing the wedding. He... he kidnapped me, Shianni, and all the other women there. Took us back to his estate, threw us in a cell. One of the women with me tried to fight back, and they... they killed her right there.”

I realise I’ve begun to shake, the pent-up rage and sorrow I’ve carried with me all this time finally starting to push its way out.

“Some of Vaughan’s thugs came to take us to him, and then my cousin Soris arrived and threw me a weapon. I didn’t hesitate to kill every guard there. Soris told me he’d come there with Nelaros to rescue us, so once we’d killed the guards, we went to find Shianni. Nelaros had been outside, standing guard, and when we went to meet back up with him...” My voice quivers, and in my mind I see my fiancé again, lying in a pool of his own blood. “A guard ran him through. We barely had time to stop, with other guards coming after us, so we...we had to leave him there. We fought our way to Vaughan’s room, found him there with Shianni...  
I killed him. I killed him and every one of his men. I slaughtered them like dogs, and I don’t regret it one bit. That vile human violated Shianni, and would’ve had his way with me too if Soris and Nelaros hadn’t arrived in time.”

I don’t hold back any of the rage and hatred in my voice as I recount what happened with Vaughan. My hands are shaking violently, and I can feel tears forming in my eyes.

“I avenged Shianni and Nelaros, and I would do it over and over. Nelaros had come there to save me, and he didn’t get to walk out like I did. He died for me. He died for me, and all I have been able to think about since is how I protested the marriage. How reluctant I was, and how I was not warm with him when we met for the wedding.  
I wish I could take it all back. He deserved so much better. He didn’t deserve to die for me. It should’ve been me instead.  
It should’ve been me.”

“I’m so sorry, Kallian. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. I only wish that bastard Vaughan were still alive so I could kill him too for what he did to you.” Alistair’s arms close around me, holding me tight, and I allow myself to cry.

“I was to be executed for killing the arl’s son. I would’ve been taken away if Duncan had not invoked the Right of Conscription and saved me by making me a Grey Warden. Part of me didn’t want to go with him, part of me wanted to give up and let myself die. But I also didn’t want to let the humans win by getting rid of me. I decided the best thing for Shianni and the rest of my family was to go to Ostagar. I didn’t trust Duncan at first, I couldn’t trust any of the humans I met at Ostagar. All my life, humans had only taken advantage of my people, abused us and gotten away with it every single time. I hated every one of them.  
I didn’t want to trust you either when I first met you. But, even though other humans at Ostagar had been welcoming to me, not insulted me or treated me as inferior like so many have done before... you were different. Something deep inside me told me you were one I could truly trust. You were always so kind, so encouraging, and adorably awkward at times. I couldn’t help falling for that. And then meeting the others- Leliana, Wynne, even Morrigan. I don’t know how I would’ve made it this far without all of you.” I pull myself away to look at Alistair again. “You have been the light that has kept me going through all this darkness. You have shown me what it is to love so deeply and purely, without limits. I am so grateful for all the support you have given me.”

“Of course. I did not expect to find something so beautiful amidst all this despair. I love you more than I can say.” He kisses me gently, and I lean into him.

“I didn’t believe I deserved to love after what happened to Nelaros.” I glance down to my right hand, where the wedding ring I took from his body rests. “This was to be my wedding ring. I have worn it all this time to remind myself of how I couldn’t save him.”

“Kallian. You may not want to hear this, but it is not your fault.” Alistair takes my hand, stroking the wedding ring. “Believe me, I understand how you feel. I felt exactly how you’re feeling now, after Ostagar. My answer to the Guardian was a resounding yes. I wasn’t, and could never be half the man Duncan was. It wasn’t fair that he didn’t survive the horror of Ostagar, and I did. All these months, I’ve blamed myself for his death, and Cailan’s. Even if I am made King at the Landsmeet, I’ll never live up to Cailan’s legacy. Ferelden needed him on the throne, not me.  
But after all we’ve been through, the death and destruction we’ve seen- and with the comfort of you by my side- I think I have finally come to terms with what happened. I couldn’t save Duncan or Cailan, or anyone else at Ostagar. But that is not my fault. I couldn’t have done any more than the other Wardens did. And when we defeat the Archdemon- and I have to believe we will- I will forgive myself.  
I think it’s time you forgive yourself, too.  
And hey, if I am made King, I swear to you I will do everything I can to make things better for the elves.”

“Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Slowly, I ease the ring off my finger, and place it on the bedside table. “And you’re right. It hurts barely less than it did at the start, but now I have a support group I didn’t have before. I will never forget, for as long as I live. I will continue to honour Nelaros’ memory.  
We’ll do this together, like we’ve done everything since we met. You and I can help each other learn to forgive ourselves.”

“There’s nothing I’d like more.”

A calm silence falls upon us, and I am determined to make the most of this stress-free moment before what is to come. My head falls to Alistair’s shoulder and his arm wraps around me, pulling me close.

If I never moved from this position again, I would be happy.


End file.
